A Message Was Sent and…Received. Yesterday was a day that was coming. All the earmarks precipitated yesterday’s occurrence and unfortunately for Sintty’s welfare, in my mind it was meant to happen.
Our day started off nicely with our weekly Sunday bike ride to the mountains, but on the way back to Taichung just within the outskirts of the city limits, Sintty and I had a bike accident with each other, where I passed her too closely on her left side on a straightaway. Just as I was about to become parallel to her, Sintty weaved slightly to her left. Her shoulder bumped into mine, jolted her slightly to the right then lost her balance and fell hard on her left side. She landed shoulder first with her left side of her head landing on the road. Nothing happened to myself as Sintty basically bounced off of me. I was able to stop and get off my bike immediately and run back to her fall. By then some members of our group following behind us surrounded us to fend off any oncoming traffic. We sat her up and she was basically went into momentary shock. She was talking but dazed at first, remembering that I hit her, but then seconds later not remembering what just happened. She had range of movement of her arms and legs. It was a good immediate sign but she had skin abrasions from the fall on her shoulder, elbow and thigh. She was then able to walk with the aid of me to the curb. We took off her helmet and felt her head and noticed a slight bump where the helmet took the impact from the fall. The helmet was cracked in the back from the force of the impact to the side. The helmet obviously saved her life. I checked her pupils then asked her to follow my fingers, then asked her a series of questions. She responded well but kept asking the same questions as to what happened. She asked, “Why wasnt I more careful ?” Then she repeated that she didn’t know what just happened.
We immediately took her to the emergency room at Taichung City Hospital. She was fully examined for her injuries and her skin abrasions were dressed. The cat scan and x-rays all came back negative for broken bones and for anomalies to her skull and brain. She was given a prescription for pain killers and ice packs for her head.
I was relieved but I was humbled. Because there was a moment when I saw the bump on the side of her head that immediately gave me flashbacks to my mother’s operation for a brain clot over 5 years ago, which occurred due to a bump to her head that she did not recall happening. But over time, the blood vessels between my mother’s skull and her brain ballooned up on her which caused slurred speech and dizziness. My mother had a successful operation to remove a double hemotoma. So I was watching Sintty’s speech very closely and looking for those signs but I knew that the symptoms my mother had might not occur immediately in front of me with Sintty.
From that moment on while tending to Sintty on the side of the road, a whole range of emotions of my entire life with Sintty virtually passed quickly through me. From recalling the happiest moments in my life together, to a realization that if the injuries she just sustained has now altered and changed our life and landscape before us forever. I was already even contemplating the worst case scenario to a life without Sintty. I was already missing Sintty as I was staring into her eyes before me, while she was following my commands asking her to follow my finger in front of her face moving from side to side. I was seeing and feeling Sintty’s helplessness and the vulnerability right in front me. I immediately and repeatedly kissed her forehead while I held her. I was being reminded from above. I was being reminded of why and how I became the person I am today because of the person I was with. That I was being reminded that all the correct choices and decisions in my life from the mundane to the most seriousness…was because of Sintty.
Yes, yesterday’s accident was headed to a collision course that no matter what I could have done, I could not have prevented it. It was like my body and mind had no control of giving her the appropriate safety space when passing her on the bike. It was like in slow motion knowing what was just going to occur was going to be bad and there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was a reminder to continue to take care of the ones you love because in an instant you could lose them at any given moment. A reminder to take nothing for granted. It was a reminder that sometimes has to be tragically played out to realign your focus to recognize what you have in front of you. A reminder for the devotion, the loyalty, the care, the nourishing and the learning and compromising for the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with.
Yesterday a message was sent, and it was clearly received…again.